After The Rage

Its been a little since everything happened I must admit I was happy to cuss his mother out I guess she thought she could scare me Or maybe in her anger she just was like alot of people where your just not thinking and you just act Really...

I understand Murder

In some situations I can see how people commit murder I think If I could of killed him and gotten away with it I would have Yesterday evening I decided to blog As I looked I noticed someone who was commenting She had kind words to say and...

What its like to be a Asexual

For me realizing that this is what I am and its more normal then known made me feel good I have no intrest in sex at all and its odd that Im seen as a freak because of that. I hate that it feels like the world and mostly women make me feel like...

Stupid Reality

So my weekend is over I slept most of it so I am feeling a little energy I cleaned the house and hopefully I can keep it clean cause I have overtime coming up But today as I slept I felt a little guilty Today was grams bday and I didnt...

Just Me

Even though Im the one who ended the relationship its still hard And with us having to live togheter it can make it difficutl at times Work can be a bit much since the girl who he told all my business to works there seeing her angers me She...

Day 3 into 4 of Break Up

So far its ok Our conversations are small and quick He hasnt asked about getting back toghether Today he bought me some food and paid me back for groceries before the break up Were being cordial and kind Today when he left he didnt say...

Day 1 and 2 The Break Up

Well I know breaking up was the right thing to do All the signs point to no This final act brought me to a place of no return Day 1 I was sad but more angry yet I also felt relief because I knew I no longer had to deal with our issues....his...

What Am I Waiting For

Through out the day I try to remember what it is I want to write So much and yet nothing really at the same time Today was definitly on the edge day for me I was so broken down that I cried at the drop of a hat I felt like if anyone even...

Is this my Sign

I dont even really understand why Im so angry I go over in my mind why I feel angry I feel like I wasted my time I feel like while I struggle to put pieced back that were never fully whole but now its worse then before and they will go on to...

Over and Over

Over and over in my mind I keep thinking what can I do to change my life Depression is never going away but there were times I was happy So how can I find ways to sustain the happiness, get passed and over the bad, and be self suficient But...

So I May Have A Stalker

Cant remember when it started but one day after work I noticed a late text messege It asked is this Mi Mi It was late so I didnt respond I assumed maybe it was a past associate or something and so whatever The next day or maybe a couple of...

OK Day

Today was a nice day For a few hours I pretended to be normal and not think for awhile I had a appoitment to refill my birthcontrol I get there and I was told my appointment was cancelled But she seemed to feel so bad that I had came all...

Part 3 Counseling

So sex It has destroyed everthing As I said I began to see things when we moved in but the biggest thing so far is sex When I lost my sex drive he began to accuse me of cheating Now unfortunatley I am a very literal person So when I...

Part 2 Counseling

So in part 1 of counseling I talked about how she asked me about my dreams Part 2 was about the relationship So for better understanding I have to tell some things The relationship was great at first and when we decided to move in toghether I...

Part 1 Counselor

M.I.A I have been from here. So I'll just go I last left off about being excited to see my counselor I almost didnt go, I was so tired and was just wanting to sleep the day away as I usually do but said no just get up and once you get there...

Not Fair

So I said before alot happened this month First thing was the facebook murder I called a friend on easter to talk and she tells me there is a man on a rampage killing people for no reason She told me the area My first thought was maybe I...

Alot

So much has happened in this last month I dont keep up with writting like I should My counseling I do even at times I dont want to go but I still go I have it today this afternoon and I was thinking about cancelling but I figure just go I...

I Blew Up... Im So Done

I let him win again I had in set in my head that I was done and that I just need to be quiet Be still I told myself it doesnt matter what you say There is no need to cry These are all things you have said before You have explained...

Dear God.....Its Mi Mi

There is a girl I work with Soon to be quiting I was happy she was quiting because that means I wont see her ever Deep down I hate this girl Deep down Im jealous of this girl She is young She is loved by everyone She is a single...

725 AM March 30 2017

I just wrote about Self Suffiecient and this is how it relates to me now In that entry I said how my mom prayed over her kids and how I realized that I am not Self Suffiecient My inability to be Self Suffiecient hurts me now because I realize...