Part 2 Counseling

So in part 1 of counseling I talked about how she asked me about my dreams

Part 2 was about the relationship

So for better understanding I have to tell some things

The relationship was great at first and when we decided to move in toghether I think we both had the same idea of what we imagined

We thought it be like it was when I visited and stayed over night but better because I wouldnt have to go back to my grams which was my home and we would eat toghether and watch tv and sex and just be toghether

Obviously I didnt learn as much as I thought and missed alot of signs before we moved in

Example 1 his constant need for attention

I wasnt sure if he was really that clingy and needy or was I just as people would say mean

I didnt feel the need to text all day and he seemed to but I figured once we moved in that would calm down seeing as to now your with me everyday

The first few months I saw it did not

I like to sleep and would have to tell him to chill on the texting all the time, you just saw me and left me if I need something or whatever I would say something but you texting me often I found annoying

Example 2

He seemed aloof and inconsistant, like us moving in togheter was just going to happen without any actual work and planning

I got a second job and began looking and making a list for what was an asset of the apartment what we could afford what ammentities were of importance

I had to get him on board and at the time I didnt see that in him, he had no sense of urgency,didnt make any attempts to plan which seemed odd to me because I was already home with my gram but he was seperating from his to be ex wife and had no where to go but back home so if thats now what he wanted why was he not looking but I overlooked that

But we ended up finding a place in our budget and right across the street from our work and by the time we moved in he got a second job

So now were living toghether

I dont remember all the details but as we lived toghether small things became big blow ups and a pattern began

I remember him not really letting me sleep to the poing where I would be yelling and screaming at him

I couldnt figure out why he wasnt a little tired from working two jobs that when it came time for bed why he felt the need to talk

We just could not sleep toghether as well cause not only would he want to talk but of course we sleep diffrent

I like the tv on and low, he shakes alot and hogs

So I started making him sleep on the pull out sofa bed

Once we got passed that then I began to see that his jealousy and insecurities were not the normal type and he also had the audacity to have a double standard to them as well

We worked toghether so we may see eachother in crossing and everyone new we were a couple so he may see me talking to a coworker and I might of touched his arm or be leaning on him or get a hug

Hed tell me not to do that but he could follow the servers around and that was ok

Got passed that a bit but thats when I saw he was a liar

I know its natural instinct to lie but If its over someting small it becomes huge because the person who is being lied to is trying to figure why lie about something so small

The server he was following I could tell he liked her and she like him but he wouldnt admit to it or admit to their coversations and that was sign but I am very intimidating when Im angry and he is very meek and mild so I just took it as that

Which brings me to the next thing I found out

He cant handle confrontation

He becomes child like when its time to have a conversation

He cant talk, he gives no eye contact, he begins to mumble and talk low and his answer for everything is I dont know

So tried to work with him on that and my counselor reminded me how much work I had to do be a person who handles conflict so I tried to help him with that and I told him he should try counseling and maybe take a speech class in school to help his communication skills

Not just to deal with me but in life there are times where you need to handel conflict

But then the big issue hit and that was sex

I lost intrest in sex

So because I had no sex drive his first reaction was I must be cheating

Logically this made no sense to me because I thought by him knowing that I had severe depression, Im not really a people person so I am not a person to have sex with a stranger cause that would mean I know them, know of them, and like them and he had a hard time so who was having a easier time, why would I move in with him and it was a couple of months so who was I having sex with that fast

But this was and still is the greatest issue and it has created bigger issues and I believe it has broken so that its beyond repair

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