What its like to be a Asexual

For me realizing that this is what I am and its more normal then known made me feel good

I have no intrest in sex at all and its odd that Im seen as a freak because of that.

I hate that it feels like the world and mostly women make me feel like I have to be a super sex freak porn star to be normal

Because I dont like talking about dick and sucking dick and swallowing cum Im seen as not a woman

I think thats crazy and judgemental

Just like I cant judge a woman for being sexually liberal or free which is mostly referred to as a hoe or slut

Why am I judged because I dont like sex

It happened in the middle of my relationship and a big part of why it ended

I just didnt have the energy to have sex, it began to become painful, Ive never been a romantic type of girl,not really into constant kissing or cuddling and what not so add sex to that it was like screw this

Ive never had a orgasm and even though I can have stimulation from oral I just became bored with sex

I began searching online and came across Asexual and its what I relate with the most

Now that my relationship is over I must admit that I feel free from that pressure

I also feel free from using sex to solve my issues like I see most people do

Im free of being accused of cheating because I wasnt having sex with him

I feel free from not having worries of std and unplanned pregnacies which Ive had 2 abortions already so I never wanna go through that again and Ive had a sti before and thats not fun at all

So for me why should I engage in something that hurts me, bores me and I dont get off

Why should I suffer being accused of not loving someone and being with others just because to them its not normal but giving yourself to everyone else is

Its not the same for me as others

I wish people didnt judge me for it though

I know now that I can never have a relationship and thats ok with me and especially after this last guy I think Im spent

When a good guy fucks you over it really messes with your mind and I just wanna feel safe

I do wish I could enjoy sex and saw it the way others do but there is freedom in knowing that I dont and there are other people like me

I wish I could experience freedom with other things in my life

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Comments (1)

  1. outerrim

    You are not the only person like you. A relationship is possible whether intercourse is part of that relationship or not. You look a bit too young to call off relationships entirely. You will definitely need a person who is probably a bit more mature and secure. There could be many more factors going on than the small snippet of information, I’m sure, but communication is always key to a great relationship alongside of sharing similar values. If you don’t share the same values about life, it will not work. If it does work, it will take a lot of flexibility and understanding from both ends. Its a lot of extra work. Refuse to give yourself away. Really take time to know and love yourself on all levels. Know what you want and expect from yourself and others. Unfortunately, you cannot expect other people to do or act the way you would, but you can find likeminded people out there. It really begins with you. Being happy and whole with who YOU are. You don’t need anyone else to be whole and complete. That doesn’t mean you can’t find a companion to share life with. Life is so much more than material. Find a person who you can speak your mind to. A person who opens your mind and experience. You may find that a person who can stimulate your mind and emotions will stimulate other areas as well. If not, that’s ok, but that mind and heart connection is where its at.

    June 12, 2017
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